“Keeper of the Home” Series {Part 3} - Virtuous Women of the Bible
I am so sorry it has taken me a bit to finally post my remaining thoughts on this three-part series, but I think it will be worth the wait! (You can read Part 1 here and Part 2 here.) In today's post, we will dive into the complex personas of four intriguing women and examine how they modeled biblical homemaking. We'll begin with one of King David's wives, Abigail, from the Old Testament, and then move to the remaining ladies whom all appear in the New Testament: Lydia, Martha, and Mary. I hope their examples encourage your faith deeply. May you be profoundly moved to view your work as sacred worship unto the Lord as you cultivate a life-giving home that is full of His Presence!
So, let's begin with Abigail...
A Quick Snapshot of Abigail's story (1 Samuel 25):
+The Bible describes her as “an intelligent and beautiful woman” (v. 3). She’s contrasted against her husband, Nabal, who is described as harsh and evil in his dealings (i.e. greedy; stingy). When King David sends his men to request hospitality {food provisions} from Nabal, he insults David and sends his men away empty-handed even though David and his men protected Nabal’s shepherds from harm as they tended to his flocks in the fields during herding season. When King David hears about Nabal’s response, he is furious and decides to lead his army to confront Nabal. When a young servant informs Abigail what has transpired, she realizes the grave danger they are in. She immediately jumps into action to salvage the situation. She is instructed by the servant to “consider carefully what she must do to avert this looming disaster” (v.17)
Whatever Abigail needs to do, she must do quickly! Let's examine the godly virtues Abigail possesses that enables her to pacify the situation and restore her family to David's good graces before they are destroyed.
1. Prepared - She had 200 loaves of bread already made and ready to be sent to David and his men, as well as two skins of wine (these skins came in various sizes, but an ox-skin could hold up to 60 gallons each), along with five sheep, 36 cups of roasted grain (9 quarts), 100 clusters of raisins, and 200 cakes of figs.
+ Abigail models the virtue of diligence. She used her time wisely and had stayed proactive within her household. In her moment of crisis, Abigail lacked the time needed to prepare this enormous provision for David and his men. Thankfully, because she possessed diligence, she had •already• stewarded her time and resources wisely. She was a woman who ran her household efficiently, so she had “no fear of the future.” Now, finding herself in a pinch, her faithful efforts of diligence and labor saved her household’s lives.
2. Courageous - She made the brave decision to go with her young servants to meet David face-to-face. She arranged her servants to go before her and she followed them on her donkey. As she saw David and his armies marching down the mountainside toward her, she didn't know if she would lose her life, yet she valiantly pressed on.
+Abigail models the virtue of sacrifical love. When danger threatened, she did not turn back and cower fearfully. Instead, she mustered her courage and met the pursuing army to intercede for her household. She was willing to sacrifice herself for family (in a similar fashion to Esther's brave actions on behalf of the exiled Jewish nation in Persia). Abigail displays a tender and gentle love for her household and is willing to save them in whatever way she can.
3. Humility - When Abigail sees David, she immediately gets off of her donkey and falls facedown, bowing before him. She assumes the blame for the terrible misunderstanding. She shows David how apologetic she is that his young men were sent away empty-handed. She lets him know that her husband is foolish and if she had seen his young men, they would have been treated properly.
+Abigail models the virtues of wisdom and discernment. She shows that she possesses prudence and knows exactly the right words to say to David to ease his anger. Abigail selflessly takes the blame for Nabal’s rude actions and she appeals to David’s merciful spirit. She reminds him of the Lord’s infinite grace and mercy by asking David to be like His God by showing compassion to her family and choosing mercy over revenge. She is a woman who possesses self-control over her speech and she thoughtfully chooses her words.
4. Kindness - She offers David her gift of provisions and asks for his forgiveness. She also affirms the LORD’s promise to David that he will reign as King of Israel with an everlasting dynasty. She reminds David of the LORD’s loyalty to him and speaks victory over him. She gently reminds him of the caliber of man he is to keep him from acting rashly and tarnishing his legacy and character.
+ Abigail models the virtue of loyalty by vowing her allegience to David’s dynasty and his claim to the throne of Israel as God's chosen one. She also shows extreme generosity in her large gift of provisions for him and his men. She is a woman of faith and prophesies the LORD’s promises over David’s life.
5. Joy - After Abigail's encounter with David, Nabal dies (most likely from a heart attack) after Abigail gives him the news of their almost-destruction. After David receives news that Nabal is dead, he sends word to Abigail to ask for her hand in marriage which she responds to with a joyful "Yes!"
+Abigail is asked to be the wife of Israel’s future king! She chooses to enter her marriage to David with an attitude of servanthood; even by requesting to wash the feet of David’s servants. She joyfully gives her energy and strength to serving and caring for others and the LORD rewards her by securing her future as a wife of King David.
In conclusion...
>> David praises Abigail’s discernment to recognize the graveness of the situation and her hasty action to stop it.
>> David heeds Abigail’s petitioning which brings salvation to her household.
>> The LORD rewards her faithfulness with a joyful marriage and future.
A Quick Snapshot of Lydia's story (Acts 16):
+ The Bible describes Lydia as a woman from the city of Thyatira, who sells expensive purple cloth. The Apostle Paul meets Lydia one Sabbath day as he goes to pray along the riverbank, just outside the Roman colony of Philippi. Lydia is among a group of women who also came to find a place of prayer. Paul begins speaking to these women about the Gospel. Lydia receives salvation in Christ and is called “a worshiper of God” (v. 14)
1. Tenderhearted - She listens to Paul attentively because she loves the God of Israel and wants to know more about Him. Before her conversion to Christ, she would have been identified as a "God-fearer" by the Jewish people. This term was used for Gentiles (anyone who was not born from a Jewish lineage) who believed in the God of Israel and worshiped Him instead of their own local "gods."
+Lydia models the virtue of teachability. Lydia’s heart was opened by the Lord and she responded to Paul’s message with faith. She was eager to receive salvation and desired to enter into this Kingdom of God that Paul preached.
2. Courageous - After receiving the Good News from the Apostle Paul, she decides to immediately be baptized, along with her household, thereby showing her full allegiance to Jesus as the Messiah and (true) King of Israel .
+Lydia models the virtue of perseverance. She wanted to publicly proclaim her loyalty to Jesus Christ regardless of the opinions of others. She wasn't shy about her faith and wanted others to experience the healing, restoration, forgiveness, and joy that comes by accepting salvation in Christ alone. She went "all in" for the cause of Christ, regardless of the possible ridicule, mocking, or persecution she may experience by aligning herself as His follower. Remember that Lydia was a wealthy woman who made her riches by selling expensive dyed garments to the upper echelon of Roman society (Roman emperors and the elite of the empire were the only ones allowed to wear such fine, royal robes). She was risking her business, but does worldly wealth really matter that much when you possess the priceless treasure of knowing Jesus?
3. Kindness - She "constrains" Paul and his companions (a term used in the Middle East to communicate the expectation of offering hospitality to strangers) to come and stay at her house which demonstrates her kindness and hospitality towards the servants of Christ.
+ Lydia models the virtue of hospitality by eagerly offering to provide for Paul and his fellow-workers. She wanted to serve them, just as they had served her by presenting the Gospel to her. She was so adamant in opening her home to them that she would not take no for an answer. Her home was to be a place of rest and comfort for those tirelessly risking their lives for the Gospel. As you can see from Paul's other writings, many times the Apostles were left hungry, cold, and lacking daily needs while traveling from city to city preaching the Good News. I'm sure Lydia's kind offer was an appreciated reprieve from the struggle and toil Paul experienced daily on his missionary journeys.
4. Joy - It is assumed that providing for Paul and his companions brought Lydia great joy. Not only did her hospitality cultivate a life-giving home, but it set the stage for a home church to be planted within her walls!
+ Lydia models the virtue of generosity. She was a woman of means who wanted to bless others with the blessings that the LORD bestowed upon her. In fact, her home became a place of Christian growth, discipleship, and spiritual development. In other words, her home church became a launchpad for the Gospel to go forth and spread in the first century!
In conclusion...
>> Lydia was a business woman who sold garments dyed with tyrian purple, a dye created by boiling marine snails that would create a dark-reddish hue. Lydia’s clients were wealthy individuals who could afford such costly cloth which was then used for clothing and upholstery.
-tyrian purple: a.k.a. royal/imperial purple from Tyre, Lebanon (hence “tyrian”); extracting this dye required tens of thousands of snails and substantial labor making the dye highly-valued and expensive. Items colored with the pigment was associated with power and wealth. Only the most senior Roman magistrates were allowed to wear a white toga edged in Tyrian purple. Also, a solid Tyrian purple toga with gold edging was only worn by generals celebrating a Roman triumph.
>> Lydia most likely hosted Paul and his companions for some time. She would have provided them shelter, meals, clothing, and attended to any of their other daily needs. She may have supplied Paul with ink and scrolls so that he could send epistles (letters) to other churches.
Lastly, let's examine the two sisters: Martha and Mary...
A Quick Snapshot of Martha and Mary's stories (Luke 10 and John 11 & 12):
+ The Bible introduces Martha to us first. She is described as a woman who “welcomed Jesus into her home” (v. 38). She is described as having a sister named, Mary, who “sat at the Lord’s feet listening to His message” (v. 39). Unfortunately, the Bible also describes Martha as being too distracted by all the preparations for the impending dinner she invited Jesus and His disciples to. She is very hospitable and willing to serve Jesus, as well as the large party with Him, but she allows her obligations to consume her to the point of burnout. On the other hand, her sister, Mary, neglects her “obligations” to spend time with Jesus which she is actually praised for by Him. Since both sisters have godly qualities as “keepers of the home,” we’ll look at both of their examples as a whole.
1. Hospitable - Martha is eager to welcome Jesus as a guest to her home. Upon meeting Him, she extends an invitation of hospitality to Him and His twelve disciples.
+ Martha models the virtue of servitude. She was most likely the eldest sibling and managed the household. She may have been a woman of considerable means since she had the space and provisions for so many guests. Her hospitality shows a willing heart to serve those around her.
2. Productive - Martha is an active woman who is not idle. She promptly sees to all of the preparations needed for the meal she was hosting.
+Martha models the virtue of productivity. She took great care to make sure everything ran efficiently and smoothly for the dinner to be served. She is decisive, dutiful, generous, and accommodating.
3. Responsible - Martha needs to be attentive to many things during Jesus’ stay, such as providing comfort to her guests, preparing and cooking meals, baking bread, fetching water, cleaning, and so forth.
+ Martha models the virtue of benevolence. She is eager to make sure her guests are comfortable and well-fed. Unfortunately, she becomes overwhelmed with the burnout that comes from handling too many responsibilities. For a fuller explanation, please read more about this in my post called,“Rejuvenating Rest: Biblical Truth for the Exhausted Woman.”
4. Caring - Martha cares deeply for others. This attribute is evident after the death of her brother, Lazarus. She asks Jesus to come and heal him, knowing that Jesus is the answer to his recovery. Unfortunately, Lazarus dies before Jesus arrives. Yet, she wholeheartedly believes a miracle can happen in the presence of her Master.
+ Martha models the virtue of faith in Christ. In that moment, Martha proclaims Jesus as the Messiah and she trusts in Him. She surrenders the outcome of her brother’s death into the hands of Jesus and, by doing so, she (and her family) experiences the resurrection life of God. Her brother is raised from the dead at the command of Jesus!
1. Devoted - Mary decides that her household chores and dinner preparations are not as important as learning from Jesus while He teaches in their home.
+ Mary models the virtue of single-minded "Kingdom focus." She chose to sit at His feet, even if it meant that she was chided or judged by others as irresponsible, idle, or unproductive. The criticism simply couldn't compare to the great spiritual wealth and purpose which being a disciple of Jesus brought her. She ended up being commended by Jesus for choosing the correct priorities.
2. Empathetic - Mary is later accused by the disciples of wasting expensive perfume that she anointed Jesus for burial with. Once again, Jesus defended her actions.
+Mary models the virtue of compassion. She felt empathy for Jesus. She discerned the suffering He would endure and used what she had to comfort Him and show Him how much she cared.
3. Spiritual-awareness - Mary models the gift of discernment from the Holy Spirit. She understands that the Messiah has to die, even when Jesus’ disciples aren't "getting it".
+ Mary models the gift of prophesy. She acted on revelation from the Holy Spirit by preparing Jesus' body for burial with anointing oil worth a year's wages. Nothing was too costly to lay at His feet. Her extravagant worship was, once again, commended!
4. Worshipful - Mary constantly pours out acts of worship onto her Master. She sits at His feet to learn from Him, bows at His feet in her most desperate hours of grief (after her brother’s death), and anoints Him for burial just days before the crucifixion.
+ Mary models the virtue of discernment. Her acts of worship reveal a soft, gentle, and pure heart of love for her Messiah. She didn’t care what kind of reputation her worship brought her. Yes, she was chided as irresponsible and idle. She was also accused of being wasteful, and yet, she scorned her own reputation to do what was right in the eyes of God.
>> In conclusion, a "keeper of the home" is a woman of God who possesses many functional and practical qualities that keep her household running efficiently, such as proactivity, diligence, self-control, punctuality, generosity, hospitality, and responsibility. And yet, more importantly, she also possesses many endearing qualities of the Spirit, such as kindness, humility, teachability, gentleness, faithfulness, wisdom, discernment, perseverance, humility, courage, empathy, and devotion. In our own strength and knowledge, we fall woefully short, but when empowered by the Holy Spirit's gentle guiding, we will walk in the abundant life of the Spirit. His fruit will overflow within us and give us the ability to be true representatives of Jesus on this earth!
I hope these women of the faith have inspired you by their example of pure devotion to their Messiah, Jesus Christ. As their daughters in the faith, may our households flourish under the God-given gift of possessing gentle and quiet spirits which are so precious in the sight of our God.
Warmly from my home to yours,
Kate
References -
Wine Skins - https://www.bibletools.org/index.cfm/fuseaction/Topical.show/RTD/cgg/ID/8396/Parable-of-Cloth-Wineskins.htm
Seah of Grain - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seah_(unit)
Purple Cloth Dealer - https://knowyourmothers.com/lydia-the-purple-dealer/
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