🏡☕️♥️ "Keeper of the Home" Series: The 3 Pillars of a Life-giving Home

The 3 pillars of a life-giving home are:

1. Wisdom

2. Charity

3. Peace

As mentioned in the previous post of this series, the Apostle Paul instructs women that they are to be keepers at home (oikourgos) in Titus 2:4-5. Women of faith have been charged with the domestic management of their households under their husbands’ leadership. However, this does not make us simply housekeepers. In fact, it’s a very high calling and its impact will ripple through the future generations of our families. We are forging, day by day, a godly legacy that leads our children, as well as others, to the Truth - the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Since we have such a meaningful purpose, filled with life and eternal value, it’s so important for us to be equipped with biblical knowledge to steward our calling well.

Unfortunately, the role of “managing a household’ can be rather vague and generic. What exactly does it entail, biblically? Is it simply having a tidy home and completing household chores? Or creating a “pretty” home for your family?

Yes, it does include these elements, but the true meaning is much more rich in spiritual fulfillment and purpose.

It’s a legacy. It’s a ministry. It’s a partnership with the Lord.

Let’s dive in and discover eternal truths about the unique role of womanhood and how the Lord created us to till the gardens of our homes to bear fruit for eternity.

Pillar 1. Wisdom

“Wisdom has built her house; she has carved out her seven pillars…” (Proverbs 9:1)

Wisdom's seven pillars according to Scripture:

1. Fear of the Lord

2. Instruction

3. Knowledge

4. Understanding

5. Discretion

6. Counsel

7. Reproof

“Therefore, everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.” (Matthew 7:24)

“…a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Give her the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her at the gates.” (Proverbs 31:30-31)

A woman who builds her house on wisdom is...

•grounded in the truth of the Word and the Gospel of Jesus Christ

•she opens her mouth with wisdom and faithful instruction is on her tongue (she teaches her household the things of God)

•she watches over the affairs of her household

•she manages her household well:

- food preparation

-clothing

-delegation of responsibilities

-creative business pursuits

-she has strength to get chores done

-she beautifies her home

-she cares and provides for the vulnerable (those in need)

A woman of faith uses her strength and energy to skillfully create a cozy, functional home that is grounded on the Word of God and His wisdom.

Practical Tips:

+ have your own private personal time with the Lord every day (read your Bible and spend time in prayer)

+ worship together as a family on Sundays at a local church

+ pray together as a family before mealtimes

+ read the Bible to your children at various times throughout the day

+ pray together as husband & wife

+ participate in a family Bible study

+ brainstorm a weekly budget with your husband for discretionary spending to ensure that you both continue stewarding your finances well

+ bring functionality & organization to any chaos in your home (closets, junk drawers, backed-up laundry, unused items, clutter, outgrown clothes/toys, etc.)

+ pick a day to work on each space that needs organization (don’t try to tackle it all at once)

+ make a keep pile, a trash pile, and a give-away pile (have boxes/trash bags ready for Goodwill/give-away items)

+ say goodbye to things you haven’t touched or used in at least 6 months to a year.

+ narrow down the cleaning you need to do on a daily basis to keep your home tidy (mine include: making beds, dishes, wiping down surfaces {countertops, appliances, tables}, and vacuuming)

+ start a weekly chore rotation or schedule where you clean certain areas at least once a week (washing sheets/bedding, cleaning bathrooms, doing laundry, dusting, and so forth)

+ use Pinterest to start an inspiration board for what you would like your home to look and feel like (narrow down your design style, pin what inspires you or makes you feel happy; you can visit mine here for some ideas!)

+ thrift/shop for some home decor pieces that align with your design style; add some little by little to begin creating a home aesthetic that is life-giving to you and your family

Pillar 2. Charity

> charity: meaning the benevolent goodwill (love) toward others.

“Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.” (Hebrews 13:16)

“Let all that you do be done in love.” (1 Corinthians 16:14)

“Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered.” (Proverbs 11:25)

“And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these My brothers, you did it to Me.’” (Matthew 25:40)

“Even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.” (Matthew 20:28)

• she opens her arms to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy (she looks for opportunities to bless others and invite them into relationship)

• she serves others as unto the Lord

• she uses her skills, talents, resources, and time to help others (i.e. provide a meal, a service, or relational time, etc.)

• her home is open, inviting, and welcoming

• she is selfless in her pursuit of others; serving brings her joy and fulfillment

A woman of faith uses her strength and energy to bless, serve, and care for others. Her home offers an open invitation to a place of belonging and hospitality.

Practical Tips:

+ use one day a week to plan meals & make a grocery list for your family's necessary food items; then, if an unexpected visit arises, you are prepared to be hospitable and have something to offer your guests (even if it's simply coffee/tea, a dessert/treat, or some kind of snack like cheese, fruit, and crackers).

+ keep your ears open to different needs in your community or local church (i.e. expectant mothers, ill family members, someone recovering from a surgery, foster parents, new neighbors, someone struggling financially, etc.); you can bless them with a meal, groceries, or invite them over for dinner & company

+ stick to your daily cleaning schedule (even if it's minimal cleaning) so that if someone does stop by, you feel confident to welcome them in because your home is tidy

+refine your listening and communication skills; be slow to speak and quick to listen (really pay attention to what the other person is sharing; think of questions to ask them; don’t be so ready to talk about yourself)

+ prepare activities for children so you can have more uninterrupted conversation time (i.e. coloring books, play dough, toys in a common area/room, outdoor play)

+ remind yourself that when you’re serving your family by cooking, doing laundry, and cleaning that you are ultimately serving the Lord while also offering hospitality to the ones you love most

+ use your free time to learn new skills, such as becoming a better baker or cook, learning how to make bread, gardening, sewing, or any other skill that may be needful in offering hospitality and care to others

+ buy yourself (or grow) fresh flowers to decorate your dining table or to sit somewhere pretty in your home (sometimes it's the little things that can bring the most joy and comfort)

+ thrift a beautiful tablecloth, dining set, or candles to add touches of cozy charm to your home

Pillar 3. Peace

"You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in You." (Isaiah 26:3)

"The Lord gives strength to His people, and the Lord blesses His people with peace." (Psalm 29:11)

"If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." (Romans 12:18)

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28)

"For God is not a God of disorder but of peace…” (1 Corinthians 14:33)

“In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.” (Psalms 4:8)

"Then My people will dwell in a peaceful place, in safe and secure places of rest." (Isaiah 32:18)

• her gentle, quiet demeanor sets the tone within her household

• she exudes mercy, patience, forgiveness, kindness, humility, and self-control

• she is slow to anger and long-suffering

• harmony within her household is of high importance

• she fashions her home in a way that inspires rest and wholeness for its inhabitants (her home is orderly, cozy, and tidy)

• she nurtures her family - spirit, soul, and body

A woman of faith uses her strength and energy to create an environment within her home that promotes rest and nourishment. It’s a place of refuge. One of peace, wholeness, and safety.

Practical Tips:

+ hang Scripture on the walls of your home (it’ll be tangible reminders of the goodness and faithfulness of the Lord)

+ relationally, let the small stuff go; if there's a serious issue, then carve out time to discuss it and communicate in the most respectful and understanding way possible (be slow to anger and slow to speak, yet quick to listen and forgive)

+ regularly, take communion together as a family

+ create a restful environment by eliminating clutter and chaos

+ don’t allow perfectionism to overtake you (i.e. your family feels as if they can’t “live” in their home because your standard of cleanliness is too high)

+ give loads of grace to yourself and your loved ones

+ anoint your home with anointing oil and bless it in the name of Jesus

+ have worship music or an audio Bible playing softly in the background

+ light candles or diffuse essential oils that fill your home with comforting aromas

+ bring the outdoors into your home by including rustic wooden pieces, flowers (even if they’re fake arrangements/bouquets), and any other lovely decor pieces

+ have a special time of coffee, tea, and treats at some point of the day as a moment of relaxation

A life-giving home is one that is full of the Lord’s Presence. It is forged day in and day out by inviting Him into our lives and allowing Him to guide us by His perfect wisdom, charity, and peace. As we partner with the Holy Spirit and walk in His pathways of life, our homes will become refuges where others can experience safety, rest, and hope in a dark world.

Lovely readers, I would love to find out how you've cultivated a life-giving environment within your home! Let me know some ways you've done so below.

Warmly,

-Kate